Well, November was a bit ago. It is amazing how quickly time goes by and how many excuses I can find not to take the time to update or write. I wonder some time how we so easily get stuck into ruts with out daily activities.
This blog is all over the place and a bit wordy, hopefully I will get back to more writing so I will not feel the need to make a novel out of a blog.
Did you ever wonder how some people seem to get some much stuff done during the day but you don't? I have a bit of revelation, they have the exact same amount of time that you have. So just how do we waste so much time?
I know for myself, I get fixated on things and watching or reading those 2-3 min web clips or articles suddenly turn from 2-3 min to 20-30 min or more. If you ever want to try an experiment, set a timer for different durations and see how long certain task take you to do. Start with a 60 second timer. You will be amazed at what you can complete in just 1 min. When I was a morning show producer, 60 seconds before something aired was an eternity. I could run a clip from the back of the station to the studio, get it cued up and still have time to spare. That is when I learned the value of a min.
So why my lesson on time? I am frustrated with myself because I have not made the time to update my blog, not so much because I am interested in people reading as much as it means I have fallen down at my quest to watch my tone and how I speak to people. At least, I still find myself more aware of what I am doing than I did before I started this blog/experiment.
I have also given up many of my passions and interest. I don't read ever, I can't even remember the last time I bought a book, much less read one all the way through. If you have known me for a long time, reading used to be something I did as much as possible. I could tear through a book in a couple of days if it was interesting. Now, it just doesn't appeal to me. Not because I don't enjoy it, but I feel like I can't, I go to bed with an exhausted mind, and feel like I am stealing from others if I use other times to read.
I also rarely play my drums, this one is more of a consequence of availability and noise, times when I have the opportunity, it is not conducive to sleeping kids or a calm household, so for this one, I just take it as it goes and hope that opportunity will continue to increase as the girls get older.
The internet, ah, this marvel of technology that steals so many minutes and souls of each person that uses it. Think of the time you have given to it. Think of the content you have viewed... yeah, I bet if our history was broadcast each day to your friends and families, there would be a lot of red faces. As with many of the things available to us each day, it can be used as a tool or a weapon. Many of us have somehow made it a grenade launcher with a shovel attached to it. We use it for enough good that we feel as though doing without it is not possible.
As my brain seems to be going lately, this blog is all over the place, between the couple of months since I last wrote and getting all of these ideas out at the same time is somewhat relieving to me. I have posted on Facebook before how ADD can make your brain feel all cluttered and getting all the thoughts out at once is like getting that closet finally cleaned out and you feel accomplished.
Getting older, since this also relates to time, I am getting this out now as well. I recently saw a friend post on FB about getting older and to be honest, I did not read it, however, I imagine we might be in the same ballpark, so if this ends up being close to yours, my apologies, it is unintentional.
You know I never thought getting older would ever bother me. Until I turned 30, it never really did. Of course I had times where I'd hit milestones and my age would be considered, but never as much until I hit 30. Now at 31, I still don't really like it. People around me are getting older, my parents, grandparents and friends are getting older. I understand that is what happens and God has planned this process out for us, but it still is difficult. I have to remind myself that some memories that I cherish so deeply occurred 10-15 years ago. Friends that used to be with us have passed and my daily landscape looks much different than it did even 5 years ago.
During church this morning, I thought of a positive side of getting older. If you are a Christian, our wisdom is increasing as we mature and grow in Christ. We had the advantage of looking back and learning from our mistakes and successes. This past week I really missed an old friend, who at the time of her death, over 2 years ago now, was 93. She was a very encouraging and wise person. I talked countless hours to her over the course of our friendship. Much of the time she never said anything, and as many of you know, sometimes having someone who loves you, just listen, is just as if not more helpful than receiving advice. Other times though, someone who ran her own business, outlived her husband and son and buried a newborn, had so much wisdom to instill, it was a blessing to know someone who had lived as long as she had. She was always so humble in her approach to advice, I don't think she ever knew how wise she truly was.
With that I don't like that people are getting older. To me, it just means that I know that their time on earth is less than it used to be. I think a lot of that comes from the amount of funerals we have attended in the last 2 years, but it also just means I am getting older. I look back at some of the dumb things I did when I was younger and I am grateful that I am older and wiser now and can make better decisions. I also look at my girls getting older and realize they are in fact, getting older. I try hard to appreciate each stage as they get bigger, but man it is crazy to see old pictures of them and to imagine them that little.
Being 31 also reminds me that there are things that I still have not changed and I wonder when I will allow God to make permanent changes in who I am. As I am clearly aware, I am not getting any younger. Time is something we can never change, get back, or get more than God has determined we get. We each get 24 hours to do something with. Sometime, I take that 24 hour gift and trash it. Other times, I cherish it as you would that perfect gift that someone special gave you. Why do I waste so much time? I think I have overdone it with "stuff" and expectations. We have so many things that can steal our time away, unless we are disciplined, we will wake up one day and wonder what happened to the last day, week, month, or sometimes, years.
To wrap up all of this ramble, we are never guaranteed tomorrow, but we are guaranteed an eternity with or without God. If you have never repented and put your trust in Jesus Christ, today is the day. With His leadership you will be given the ultimate authority on how to spend you time. Obeying is difficult, but it is best.
Josh
